My best friend has to take her daughter to hospital to finally (after way too frigging long) see about really nasty lump she appears to have growing out of her throat… yes… I said OUT of her throat.. (it looks like she has an adam’s apple that is trying to exit her throat a la Alien styley) and I have to go to work today…..
I’m pissed…. cos I know where I want to be… right by their sides…
Whilst being quite adept at spending large amounts of money that I can least afford… today was one of life’s valuable lessons in “I don’t give a flying fig if I need it or not I want one and so I’m bloody well buying one”.
Today I bought myself new La Senza pj’s… a nice new coat and a plasma tv….. the coat wasn’t in a sale but the pj’s and the plasma tv were… with £200 off and a HD dvd player thrown in…. (the tv that is).
So…. when I come home from work on Thursday wearing my new coat I will be able to put on my new pj’s and settle down and watch whatever the hell I want to watch on my new shiny lovely tv…. record whatever I want with my new HD dvd player thingy.
Ahhhh the joy of not having to explain myself or ask anyone’s permission to get what I want.
That being said…. is it wrong that I dont feel in the slightest bit guilty about spending all that money on something I don’t need (an aside being that the old ghetto tv I currently have actually has nothing at all wrong with it apart from being a bit ghetto)? Will whack that up on the Notie board at work… free to a good home if anyone wants it….
At what point do you think I realised I was an hour early for work? When I drove into the car park and there was only about 6 cars there too? When I walked through reception and it was still in darkness? When I went to make my coffee and there wasn’t another soul in the snack room? Or when I got back to my desk… fired up my pc… and a voice came out to me through the darkness saying “You didn’t get the memo either then?”
Yup… it was the latter…
Should have gone to Starbucks…
Needless to say I won’t be early for work tomorrow…
That was Christmas…. over too quickly and gone without a glance over the shoulder… with a plethora of food… movies and tonnes of frustration at Tony Hawk and his damn Proving Ground…. and snuggliness (if that isn’t a word it should be) of a dressing gown so soft I swear I’m floating on a cloud when I wear it… oh… and I think there’s something wrong with my scales…. I’ve only put on two pound in the last week.
It’s not so much the fact that I have £55 in my purse… it’s more to do with the fact that I have £55 worth of CHANGE in my purse…. How the hell did that happen? And does it mean I don’t have to lift weights this week… because my purse weighs a ton…
Also…. when I have consumed large quantities of vodka shots… woo woos… cosmopolitans and mojitos someone really needs to take my phone off me so that I don’t make a fool of myself… oh… and if I do it all again the following day… you REALLY need to take my phone off me….
This post has been brought to you by the letter N for Nurofen… C for coffee… P for pain… and B for Bleugh…..
It’s Christmas Eve…. if you should happen upon this post please wish yourself a marvellous christmas and a fabulous new year… from me….
On 19 January I will be 40 years old… whilst not feeling my age… and.. according to quite a few people…. not looking anywhere near my age… as a result of a revelation from my daughter…. I suddenly feel old… very very old.
In relation to the revelation… I have anger… tears…. horror… disgust… upset and annoyance but most of all shame… bubbling very very close to the surface…
How the hell did I managed to spend £220 at Morrisons today???? and how the hell did I managed to spend £72 in a frigging car sop*… on cards… on Christmas cards….
I swear I’m not sending cards next year….
And should I be worried that my keyboard is looking delightfully sparkly due to the copious aounts of glitter and sparkles that have fallen off the cards as I have been writing them out tonight???
Oh… and why can’t I justify just going to PC World to buy myself this??? I know it’s mega cheap but what is really wrong with it… it’s got more memory than I’ve got on my pc and I JUST WANT A BLOODY LAPTOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
meh… me and my sparkly ass are off to bed…
*obviously meant to read “card shop” but car sop sounds too good to correct…
Everything from myspace to facebook walls has taught me that I require verification from others. I thought about using disqus, but for now, I’m pleasantly happy without the comments. If someone really needs to provide their opinion on something you can email me, or since tumblr makes it super easy to reblog my post, you can do just that. — katieschenk
Reblogging Katie’s post… cos I agree with everything she said…. and because I can reblog it rather than e-mail her or leave a comment…. yay!!
“It’s difficult to believe in yourself because the idea of self is an artificial construction. You are, in fact, part of the glorious oneness of the universe. Everything beautiful in the world is within you. No-one really feels self-confident deep down because it’s an artificial idea. Really, people aren’t that worried about what you’re doing or what you’re saying, so you can drift around the world relatively anonymously: you must not feel persecuted and examined. Liberate yourself from that idea that people are watching you.”—Russell Brand
How the hell is it Friday already? Seriously… where did the week go? On Tuesday my behind the scenes negotiations to change departments came to fruition with the confirmation and announcement that I would be transferring from my current department to another. The big move is set for 14 January and I am VERY excited… both to be away from the unorganised chaos (it’s the only word to describe it) of the department I am in…. I already have projects lined up… and I am so excited about it that I could almost pee my pants.
I am once again exhausted but unable to rest easy or sleep. A few things are playing on my mind… and… whilst trying desperately not wanting to mull on the things that upset me or perturb me… I do know that at some point I am going to have to sit down with the person in question and get the things that are troubling me off my chest. Maybe more cocktails are needed to loosen my lips.
The new gym is FABULOUS… although I was very enthusiatic about the previous gym this new place is exceeding my expectations. I actually RAN… YES RAN!!!! on a treadmill today…. being cajoled and encouraged along the way by one of the instructors who kept telling me to challenge myself constantly even if it is just by upping the pace on my treadmill (check 1) or taking the goal posts at work a little higher… (check 2) or even by promising myself to cook a meal using only fresh ingredients at least once a week (ha ha ha ha ha). I know it sounds daft…but the guy is so encouraging about what I am doing… and what I want to achive… that I feel invigorated… even though my legs were a bit wobbly after just 15 minutes at a gentle jog. Hy…. I’m not fit… we know this already….
OK… I still have about 30 Christmas cards to write…. I really need to get my ass in gear…
One of the most amazing things I love about the internet (apart from being able to buy Kurt Geiger shoes online) is that I have learnt about other people’s lives. I’ve been almost invited… by way of other people’s blogs… to learn about how people around the world live their lives. Some aren’t so different to me…. but most are very very different to how I live my life.
I’ve changed the way I read blogs now….. most of the time when I found a blog I liked I would go back into the archives and try to read as much as I could about the person… but then I realised that this was a little like meeting someone in “real life” and interrogating them until you knew everything about them.
Now what I do is I just start reading from where I find that person. If they refer back to something… all well and good… if they don’t.. then I don’t go digging around.
Jakob Lodwick is a good example of this. Here… in my little quiet corner of the internet… I had no idea who he was or what he did. I just found him through Zach Klein (yeah yeah yeah… I had no idea who he was either) and I liked the way he wrote about his life and the things he was doing. I thought it was kinda cute and rather brave of him to set up Jakob and Julia with his girlfriend (yeah… I didn’t know who she was either - I live in the UK) and I found myself really interested with that also. It made for good reading… watching how they coped with each other and the faults that they appeared to have… and appeared to try to fix…. it was intriguing to see how they worked things out.
When he posted this a couple of weeks ago I was all like WTF??? WTF happened for him to leave Vimeo… and then… when I couldn’t find out what had happened… it kinda hit me…. why the hell do I care… and what on earth has it got to do with me anyway…. then I got to thinking about the whole Jakob and Julia thing… and wondered why I was actually reading it. And I couldn’t find an answer.
Then.. after the demise of the relationship… he wrote THIS post… and I felt kinda bad… because he made me feel as though it had been wrong of me to read Jakob and Juia… and I felt kinda guilty… because I had become one of those humans who are “predisposed to seek and absorb gossip with the mindlessness of starving animals” and the impression I get is that he feels that way about anyone who read the site.
But then I got to thinking about it the past couple of days… and the thing is… if I wanted to read gossip I would go to Perez Hilton…. but I don’t…. I didn’t read J&J because it was “gossip”… I read it because it was kinda interesting being allowed to view the normally private lives of two really smart people who seemed to face the same kind of problems that us “normal” people face. And the thing is… we were invited to watch.
I find it kinda sad when one of the hosts turns on me for daring to accept an invitation to a party.
“To love at all is to become vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safely in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket-safe, dark, motionless, airless space, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.”—
Gym Number One failed…. mainly due to it’s location and secondly due to my “Gym Buddy” completely crapping out on me after only three sessions. Whilst the lack of company is no excuse NOT to go…. that.. added to the location… has made me look for alternatives.
So….. Gym Number 2 induction this morning at 10.00am with James…. Hurrrah!!! Location is perfect.. right next to work… so an hour after work every day isn’t a problem… and free parking at weekends… a lack of gym buddy won’t be an issue…. I’m a loner anyway.
Hopefully it’s as nice as it seems…. and wow… £15 for a months trial.
Haircut today… so pissed with the fringe that I’m tempted to get it all off and go as short as it used to be.
And doubleyou tee eff with the weather… I don’t remember the last time it was dry… and not blowing a gale… which might be another reason why I am so pissed off with having a fringe….
“You know, I should probably wait for this to go up on iTunes, but with so much coverage of my worthless non-guitar playing pursuits, I think I owe you all a bit of what I actually DO for a living.”—John Mayer Listen to Say on johnmayer.com
I think one of the brilliant things about Tumblr is that it has found a way around the blog gentrification problem. Whenever I have a blog or a website that I regularly post to I like to feel that my posts are getting more intelligent. I feel like I have a duty not to waste my reader’s time. And as the quality improves, the readers increase. The end result is that my standards become higher than my motivation and I stop posting. For example, I’m pretty sure that I mentioned this problem here before—and I find it acutely embarassing. But I shall perservere.
Tumblr has circumvented this problem. In order to make a tumblelog look attractive, it’s useful to mix up the media a bit. (Speaking of which, I should probably look into a new theme. My present one fails the “attractive” test.) This makes it necessary to, fairly frequently, post images or videos.
In other words, if I don’t feel like writing substantive, I can (and in fact must) link to a picture of a kitty. Then the next post only has to be more thought provoking than the picture of the kitty. Mandatory kitty posting keeps my standards low enough that my tumble log can continue indefinitely.
So on my other blog I posted a little more about why I like Tumbrl so much…. which is really screwy because I used to think “why the hell do people need TWO blogs”.. and yet here I am… with two blogs…. but then again… I don’t think of Tumblr as a blog… more a fan-frigging-tastic place to make quick observations when I haven’t got time to post long winded blurb that nobody will read anyway……..
I cant remember how I found Zach Klein.. I know it wasn’t long ago… but I like him…. and up to now I’ve enjoyed the posts he makes. I saw this post on his blog and, despite what was said, still went ahead and signed up… obviously for all the wrong reasons. I think Tumblr might be the right platform for me…. because I have these random thoughts (and wouldn’t even think to claim they are fabulous blog posts the like of which Ricky likes to read) and want to blog about them… and then most of the time I find I just don’t have time to go through the rigmarole of posting to b-c.
Tumblr is right for me… and these random thoughts will hopefully lead to something more elsewhere….
I’ve never owned a Mac… I’ve only ever worked on one for about 6 months when I started my job 8 years ago… and the only link I have to Mac now is via my iPod and iTunes… so why on earth am I “almost pee my pants with excitement” excited about the Apple store opening in the mall??